A lot of people are thinking about stopping smoking these days.  A lot will continue thinking about smoking cessation for a long, long time.  Why do some people simply quit while others continue to think about doing it?

Those who delay or avoid smoking cessation think they are going to lose something, or many things, that they believe are important to them.

Because the truth is, there seem to be benefits to smoking.

Some will tell you that smoking keeps their weight down, allows a break, or creates a bond with coworkers or friends.  They are telling the truth.

But, honestly, are there no other ways to get those three desires accomplished? 

Well, actually, there are.  They’ll take some work at first.  But far less work than running out to a drugstore late at night when you realize you’re out of smokes. And far less work, and pain, than the health problems that may turn up later. But let’s not dwell on those.  Instead let’s get a feel for what dedicated smokers get out of smoking, and how to compensate for them.  It’s one of seven secrets that makes successful quitters successful.

Secret 1: List The Benefits Smoking Gave You

Smokers aren’t all the same.  You have your own needs, desires, and fears.  Be honest.  List as many benefits as you can think of.  Be relentless.  Then choose the top three.  The real ones.  The ones you’d hate to lose.  You can deal with all the rest later, but you may find you don’t even need to.

Secret 2: Find Alternatives For Those Top Benefits

Once the benefits are listed, and the top three chosen, take a deep breath.

Now create three columns.  Write titles for your three most important benefits. As an example, I’ll use the ones my clients mention most often: To Keep Weight Down; To Take A Break; To Bond with Co-workers/Friends.

Under each of your titles, one at a time, jot down ways other than smoking that you can get that benefit fulfilled.  You’re brainstorming, so feel free to write down everything you come up with—no judging, just jot.

For “To Keep Weight Down,” my client listed these possibilities:  walk to work twice a week; eliminate one calorie-filled snack a day; use exercise bike once a week;  check out Weight Watchers;  get month’s trial membership at local gym and use it; get help from friend who has lost 50 pounds last year;  ask husband and mother for support;  bring lunch to work three days a week.

When you have created lists for every title, ask a friend or family member to add ideas, and keep only those you spark to.  Do this with as many people as you choose. This particular client showed her list to her husband, and he said he would join her in any exercise she wanted him to, at least twice a week.  That gave her extra motivation.

Put the lists away.

In a day or two, take them out, and select 5-9 appealing ideas per list.  Start with the easiest substitutes for smoking and work your way up.  Keep what works best, and feel free to make adjustments.

For some people, smoking handles just a few needs in their lives (for instance, getting time away from a tense situation; handling boredom; calming down while in traffic). For others, there’s a long list.  Either way, write down what smoking takes care of for you and brainstorm alternatives ways to handle those needs.

Secret 3:  Personalize Your Alternatives

If you’re worried you’ll substitute candy for smoking and gain weight, just don’t.  Find other substitutes, and if they need to “be oral,” that’s fine.  Sips of water and sugarless gum work well for many smoking-cessation clients.

One opted for sunflower seeds with shells, so the work required to open them kept her from taking in too many calories. Another chose ice cubes, but you’d need to be extremely careful not to chew them, which can result in cracks in the teeth. (Ask your dentist.)

A very creative client just got up and jogged in place every time she would have reached for a cigarette to alleviate stress.  The little bit of exercise got her interested in joining a gym.  She was my first client to lose weight while quitting smoking! Many others have followed.  You can too.

By the way, smokers whose breathing is impaired due to the habit may notice improvement once they’ve stopped for a few months.  Enhanced airflow makes it easier to exercise, again aiding in weight loss, toning, and better appearance.

And even if you don’t increase your exercise significantly, you don’t need to gain any more than two pounds when you quit.  Those two, or maybe three, are water weight that you may take on because you are no longer drying out your body’s tissues by “smoking” them.  In time, your body rebalances. 

Your skin may even look younger when the water is replenished.  For some, a little added water intake everyday may speed the process.

Secret 4: Do A Test Drive

Take action by trying out your alternatives.  There’s no failure, only feedback on what works. Weed some out, work out the kinks on others, keep the gems. Then add some more so you won’t get bored. Get fresh ideas from magazines, TV shows, the Internet, and friends.  Add  variety to your choices so you never get bored.

Secret 5:  Make Friends And Co-workers Want To Help You, Even Smokers

This is a little tricky.  How do you get former smoking buddies to assist instead of sabotaging, even unknowingly?  Your friends care about you, yes.  They want you to be healthy.  But let’s be honest. 

If you quit smoking, they’ll feel worse than ever that they haven’t or “can’t.” That sometimes results in sabotage, conscious or unconscious.

To recognize it, listen for these:

-“Why not wait till ____ to quit when it’ll be easier?”  You can fill in the blank with things like “after this tough project” “after the holidays” “after vacation” etc.  But there will always be another reason to wait, so don’t. 

-“I thought you didn’t want to gain weight.’ This could be used with any reason you’ve mentioned in the past that has been your excuse for not stopping. Note several things:  weight gain is not inevitable; weight can be lost once you’ve settled into being a nonsmoker; your friend may have selfish reasons for saying this, even if if s/he is not aware of it.

-“If you wait, we can quit together.”  It sounds good to have a quitting buddy, but how likely is s/he to do it immediately?  More likely you’d have to deal with her excuses to delay. Instead choose to quit first and then give support and tips to your friend once you are a pro non-smoker.  You’ll be more helpful that way.

Now get ready for a possibility you may not be eager to confront:  You have friends and relatives who are currently smoking and may become saboteurs.  It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. 

They may be afraid to quit so they need to prove that quitting is impossible. You don’t benefit their cause by succeeding, and they know it.  Ask for their help and loyalty.  If that’s not working, stay away from them during this time.  Certainly don’t engage them in any arguments about quitting, or they may need to prove that you, too, will fail. 

One smart client avoided sabotage from her best friend when she gave the following reason for quitting:  “Lung cancer runs in my family, so my doctor says I HAVE to quit.”  Suddenly, the potential saboteur became a supporter.  The rationale allowed her to provide support even while she herself continued to smoke. 

Happy ending: a year later, she followed her friend’s lead and quit, too, with plenty of assistance!

Secret 6:  Discover The Helping Hands Of Hypnosis & Creative Visualization

You don’t have to go it alone when you quit the smoking game.  There are plenty of ways to get assistance.  My favorite is hypnosis because it doesn’t involve drugs, and is with you wherever you are, whatever you’re doing. 

Smoking cessation is the most popular use of hypnosis, and in many studies, it appears as tops in success.  Hypnosis is safe, can be used as often as you want, and indefinitely, has no negative side effects, and is usually pleasant and relaxing.

You can also learn to use hypnosis on yourself.  See a hypnotist or hypnotherapist first to become a nonsmoker, and then learn self-hypnosis to reinforce or help with other issues.

It’s easy to get information on hypnosis.  At my office in Chicago, we give a free 15 to 20-minute phone consultation before you ever commit to a session, and I believe other practitioners do the same.

Some people prefer removing their nicotine habit with creative visualization rather than hypnosis.  You’ll find that most hypnotists can work with either.

Secret 7: Reward Yourself In A Way That Locks-In Desired Change

When some people achieve a goal, they reward themselves.  Some buy themselves jewelry, clothes and other gifts.  The best reward when you quit a long-term habit is something that celebrates and reinforces the new You, making it part of your identity forever.

One new nonsmoker flew to Australia, a plane trip too long to handle when she was a chain smoker.  Another went mountain climbing, something she could not do when she was a coughing, oxygen-deprived smoker.

Sure, you could reward yourself with a gorgeous suit, but if you can link it naturally to the new you, you are reinforcing and celebrating all the same time. How great would that feel? 

Wendy Lapidus-Saltz, principal of Jaguar Mind LLC, is a mind coach certified in hypnotherapy, NLP and other disciplines.  She specializes in stop-smoking hypnosis, particularly with longtime smokers. She created the Hypno-Attraction® Hypnosis for Love CD and workshops on the topic of love and relationship.  Call her Chicago office at 312-640-1584. www.hypno-attraction.com and www.nonsmoker4life.com